It sucks because we're back down to one income until he gets a job to replace this one or I get a job which is tempting as it might get me out of the house. I still think it might be easier for me to get a job than him because his work history isn't greatest due to this past year. This is the fifth job he's been fired from since nine days before Natalie was born. He's beginning to remind me of that guy from Manniquin. lol I'm trying to see the positive though. He'll be here when Natalie wakes up in the middle of the night. He'll be alert enough during the day to help me with a little bit of housework so that maybe we can finally get all those boxes unpacked and put away. I'm sure Natalie will appreciate him being home.
But I still worry about how we're going to get everything paid. We still owe a lot of people money including my little sister for bailing him out of jail two weeks ago. That's another story and a half. I told him that he will need to go down to the county office to get us put on food stamps because money will be tight for food, especially the way HE eats. We tend to go through a lot of high priced things like fruit, yogurt, bread (the expensive whole wheat kind), cereal. I should probably go back on WIC as well as that would help us with the eggs and milk and stuff even though Natalie doesn't really drink milk yet. Then again, maybe not; we don't drink that much milk and we don't get too much juice since Natalie drinks water. But food stamps would help even if it is only $100 a month, that would take care of about half of our food bill. We still have our taxes to do and I do think we will be getting money back. We'll just have to spend it carefully and use it for things we really need until John starts working a second job again. It's going to be rough because he was making almost $14/hour.
The funny thing is, when he told me what he was told last Friday, I had a feeling that it would happen last night. It would have been right after Valentine's Day and back in 2001, he lost another job he had pretty much exactly the same night, the night between V-day and the 15th. In all honesty though, it wasn't fair. He was never trained and those who worked full-time got six weeks of full training. He got no training and was left to figure it out on his own. That's a recipe for sure failure. But it's kind of his fault too because he never insisted on being trained until just now. I think once he realized that there wasn't going to be that much German in the job (because most Germans can speak English) and it was mostly insurance, he just gave up. He's good at that. He did that before when he was working one time and had to pass an insurance test for a particular job. He failed the test and then never retook it. He needed an excuse to go to Korea though. I did start to wonder if I shouldn't have just looked for someone while he was gone so that he wouldn't have had to come back. He would have been doing something he enjoyed and if it hadn't been for me, he would have not come back.
I don't quite know what to do though. I could go back to schol but that brings in the problem of who takes care of Natalie. She can be weaned now (though she doesn't want to be) but I don't see John being at all for Natalie being in daycare. I just really don't know how capable he is of taking care of his family but it could be worse, much worse. Again, I'm trying to see the positive. I just can't help but wonder though, why can't we have just one year without some kind of major problem? Already, this is starting to look like a repeat of last year and I don't think I can go through that again. That was just too difficult. I think I will end up in psych if this year ends up being a repeat. My last visit was in '04 and I've yet to go longer than four years between visits.
Anyway, I want to thank those who put in comments since my last post. I had been really feeling down and lonely and it was nice to see that there are those out there reading. Local support is the one thing I don't have right now so I'm very dependent on it online. When I don't even get answers to my email, it's hard not to get discouraged. So, thank you.
| posted by Janeen at 10:26 PM
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Tami of BrooksGroth had this to say:
{{Janeen}}
So sorry things have been so rough again this year already.
And sorry I haven't been better at staying in touch. It's been a rough start to the year for me/us as well as we've been battling routine illness as well as me finally realizing I had chronic fatigue rather than just "normal" mom tirednes, etc. ... to make a long story short I finally sought alternative care which is really helping but it's a slow, slow progress (the biggest news is that I'm off my antidepressents with all their bad side effects gone now!) and also to help pay for that alternative care I'm taking on more work hours and while I love my job that leaves MUCH less computer time! :-( And I can't seem to manage even calling my sisters or parents the last few months so I'm not much good on the phone either. :-( Often I end up going to bed as soon as Nessa is down for the night (8 p.m.) and can't imagine what I would do if she didn't go to bed early, espcially as she's waking up a lot to nurse at night lately with the fussiness that comes with getting more teeth.
I bet Natalie is growing so much!!
If there's a time when you're in La Crosse I'll do whatever I can to spend some time with you -- take you guys out to lunch or hang out at the Children's museum or something. Just give me a few days warning.
Hugs,
Tami
